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Squids

A squidly maneuver gone bad might look like this.

Squids can be difficult to identify when off their motorcycles. Some squids are clever and able to conceal their squidlyness from their friends, riding buddies, and even their own mothers. That is why it requires a trained eye to catch one while off their bike.

Conversely, on their bikes Squids are easy to identify. The difficulty is determining a Squid from a squidly maneuver. Any rider can pull a squidly maneuver, but that does not necessarily make them a Squid; It could merely be a lapse in judgment.

The following are the results of extensive studies related to the activities and habits of The Squid. Hopefully this research will help you to understand them and their bizarre behaviors.

The Term SQUID

The Term Squid is a conjunction of two word abbreviations; Squirrely and Kid.

It is often the case that Squids act squirrely and are young, but don't be mistaken! Squids range in age and even though their bikes may be covered in fur, they themselves look nothing like squirrels.

Territory of the Squid

Many attempts have been made to tag the ears of a Squid with satellite tracking devices over the years. Researchers making these attempts have risked their lives, so that we can study the movements and the territory range of The Squid. Squids generally have a strange, negative, and violent reaction to these tracking devices. It's believed that this negative reaction may be an environmentally, psychological, negative reaction induced by their parole officers who use the same technology to track them or their family members while they were developing as infants.

Research has been hampered by their unwillingness to wear the tracking devices, therefore researchers have come to the following conclusion: Researchers may have to dart one.

Using tranquilizers is extreme and my even kill a Squid if it reacts negatively to the THC commonly found in their system. It is imperative to not only find a Squid, but find one off their bike. If darted while performing Squid activities, the Squid may be injured. Even though the Squid is accustomed to injury, they do show homicidal tendencies to those who dart them..Freaken Babies.

Squid Identification

In some cases, Squids can be identified easily. They rarely, if ever wear, protective gear, and often can be seen riding while wearing shorts, T-shirt, and a helmet. They have a strong desire to show-off and will stand their bikes on the front or rear wheel for long periods of time.

We believe this is some type of mating ritual. Young female Squids seem to be attracted to this behavior. Female Squids often ride on the back of motorcycles wearing little or no protection, but do carry protection in their purses and are very sexually active in the Squid community. They can mate with several different male Squids in a short period of time and are often discarded and considered disposable by the male Squids after procreation.

There are non-Squids that do ride on one wheel. This is what makes Squid identification much more difficult. The primary difference between the Squid and Squid like activity is the safety of those around them.

The Squid's purpose is to show-off and therefore requires the attention of those around them. They enjoy the shock factor of pulling past grandma on one wheel down the freeway. This is ok, but the Squid often places other bikers and civilians at risk other than themselves.

The non-Squid generally only risks their own life. They perform the same as the Squid, but do not add additional risk to those around them. These activities are saved for the right place at the right time.

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