God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by WillK675 » Tue May 01, 2012 1:53 pm

I think we just came up with a great new cross-over movie. F' the avengers... Yoda & Chuck Norris baby.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DarcShadow » Tue May 01, 2012 1:59 pm

Na, even with Yoda's "sense the future" reactions Chuck would still be to fast.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Firewa11 » Wed May 02, 2012 9:56 am

Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter...
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by U-Turn » Sat May 05, 2012 10:34 pm

Came across something the other day about Chuck Norris.
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The Most Interesting Man in The World, is Chuck's Father.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DarcShadow » Fri May 31, 2013 10:00 am

Chuck Norris one punched a horse. Its descendants were forever known as giraffes.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Firewa11 » Fri May 31, 2013 10:17 am

The earth has no axis. Just the side Chuck Norris is standing on.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DarcShadow » Fri May 31, 2013 10:29 am

The drummer from Def Leppard once high fived Chuck Norris...he'll never make that mistake again.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by WillK675 » Fri May 31, 2013 10:33 am

Lightning never strices twice in one place, because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Firewa11 » Fri May 31, 2013 10:42 am

Jesus could walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Firewa11 » Fri May 31, 2013 10:44 am

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Firewa11 » Fri May 31, 2013 10:45 am

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DLSGAP » Fri May 31, 2013 11:46 am

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DLSGAP » Fri May 31, 2013 11:47 am

When chuck Norris was born, the Dr spanked him. So chuck roundhouse kicked him across the room and then had sex with a nurse
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by WillK675 » Fri May 31, 2013 12:16 pm

Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DarcShadow » Fri May 31, 2013 12:59 pm

Chuck Norris was born on May 6th 1945, Nazi Germany surrendered May 7th 1945...coincedence?
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by WillK675 » Fri May 31, 2013 2:45 pm

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DarcShadow » Fri May 31, 2013 2:46 pm

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. Once over Hiroshima and again over Nagasaki.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Stardog » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:46 am

Despite god's slaughter of over 2.8 million people in the bible (just those listed by numbers) I am pretty sure that Chuck Norris would fuck him up. He might have already.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DemonDuck » Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:18 pm

Well in the defense of both Chuck and God .... if you want to be taken serious you have to kick some arse now and then.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Striple » Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:23 pm

DemonDuck wrote:Well in the defense of both Chuck and God .... if you want to be taken serious you have to kick some arse now and then.
Chuck doesn't need to be defended.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DemonDuck » Wed Sep 11, 2013 9:56 pm

Very true... I guess neither do really.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from

Post by LonestarCBR » Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:44 am

DemonDuck wrote:Very true... I guess neither do really.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by DarcShadow » Thu Feb 20, 2014 8:28 am

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by LonestarCBR » Fri Feb 21, 2014 3:33 pm

Yeah...it happened when the Ramcharger threw the supercharger belt trying to drive out of the grave in Lone Wolf McQuade. This is also about the time the Grim Reaper went all candy-ass with Bill and Ted...he's never regained his moxie nor had the courage to approach Chuck since. You may even remember some time after that GR hired Brad Pitt to play him in Meet Joe Black. A very sad fall indeed...and Chuck Norris is the beneficiary.
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Re: God vs. Chuck Norris - Split from "bit of Moto GP"

Post by Striple » Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:10 am

Chuck Norris and two cowboys are sitting around a campfire. The youngest cowboy says, "Last week, a mammoth bull gored 10 men on the range, but I stepped in and wrestled it to the ground with nothing but my bare hands."

Not wanting to be outdone, the second cowboy says, "That's nothing. Two days ago, I was attacked by a 10-foot rattler, but I caught it in mid-strike and ripped off its head with my teeth."

Chuck just sat there quietly, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
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