Joke of the day

[sauter0966]

Bubba had shingles. Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here's what happened to Bubba:


Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.


Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room..


A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.


An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.


Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

[Striple]

Nice.

[dufremle]

Ha

[Blizzard_1708]

exactly like a doctors office...

[DemonDuck]

ROFL I like this one.

[sauter0966]

Did you hear about the 3 legged dog who walked in the bar and asked about who shot his pa (paw)?

[sauter0966]

A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

[dufremle]

ha

[sauter0966]

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."

"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."

[NickS]

So, this guy walk into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He saddles up to the bar and says, "bartender, one for me.....and one for the road!"

[sauter0966]

Did you hear about the guy who went to the hospital with 6 toy horses stuck up his butt??

They said his condition was now stable

[sauter0966]

a wife and husband were driving along when the husband said something bad. the wife, pissed off, reached over and cut his dick off. and threw it out the window.the dick hit the windshield of a car with a dad and a little girl with a noticeable splat and then slid off. the little girl said, "Dad, what was that?!?
The dad, thinking wuick, said "it was a bug honey."
the girl sat there for a minute, all was quiet, when she said"That bug sure did have a big dick, didn't he?"

[Striple]

What is Moby Dick's father's name?

Poppa Boner!

[Striple]

Jesus walks into the office of a motel and sets a hammer and three nails down. "Can you put me up for the night?"

[sauter0966]

What is Moby Dick's father's name?

Poppa Boner!

Bwhahahaha

[Rhino]

A lot of my friends are vegans now, which I don't care, eat whatever you want. I just think that my least favorite part of the vegan diet is the verbal part where they explain it to you. It's just endless. They're like "I'm a vegetarian, but I don't even eat milk or honey because it takes animal labor to make milk and honey and I think that's wrong." And it just always strikes me as childish logic, it's like "I like bees and cows...more than the immigrants that pick the vegetables that I eat."

[Firewa11]

Me to vegans: My food poops on your food.

[Firewa11]

Saw a sign on a door today that made me piss myself.

*Toilet Out of Order*

[sauter0966]

Saw a sign on a door today that made me piss myself.

*Toilet Out of Order*

[Grinner]

Whats black and blue and floats upside down in the irish sea.......







....An englishman that keeps telling irish jokes.



just saw this on The Benny Hill Show and couldnt help but share.

[sauter0966]

so a guys send his wife to the hardware store to pick up a carpel hinge........................... when she arrives to the store she is helped by one of the stores associates............she lets him know that she is looking for a carpel hinge................he promptly asks do you want a screw for the hinge?...........she promptly responds with no! but i will blow you for the lamp shades on the top shelf over there!!!!

[dufremle]

Ha

[sauter0966]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[Blizzard_1708]

OUCH! But clever

[Firewa11]

Hahaha