Joke of the day

[fixxervi6]

you know why sweepers are so much fun???


Cause it has sWEEEEEEEEpers in the name!

(I made that up after a cider one night, that's original material right there folks)

[BeautifulDisaster]

Haha you used it on the ride!!! It's still good!!! (Are you drinking right now? Just curious what with the horse video and this )

[fixxervi6]

Haha you used it on the ride!!! It's still good!!! (Are you drinking right now? Just curious what with the horse video and this )

I drank a smith and forge

[Firewa11]

Brewed STRONG

[LonestarCBR]

you know why sweepers are so much fun???


Cause it has sWEEEEEEEEpers in the name!

(I made that up after a cider one night, that's original material right there folks)

Yes, we know.

[BeautifulDisaster]

I can't remember if I posted this one before or not. So enjoy anyway!

What do the pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common? They both can smell it but they aren't allowed to eat it.

[Firewa11]

Hahahahahah!!!!!!

[LonestarCBR]

[WillK675]

True story... I was hanging out with some friends the other night. One of thier kids comes up to me, lays her hand out flat, palm up, and tells me to put my hand on hers. I do, and the conversations goes like this...

Girl: Do you live in a house?
Me: Yes
Girl: I live in that barn over there.
Me: Ok.
Girl: Do you have a bathroom with a toilet to use?
Me: Yes
Girl: I have a can to use for a bathroom.
Me: Ok.
Girl: Do you use toilet payer
Me: Yes.
Girl: I don't, think about the hand your touching.

[dufremle]

Ha

[nitzer]

Why do you think it's disrespectful to touch someone with your left hand when you are dealing with middle eastern cultures? They wipe with their left...they don't use toilet paper...

[LonestarCBR]

Okay, that's disturbing.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of Rome.

One turns to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones."

[Firewa11]

LOL

[LonestarCBR]

[sckego]

Chick tells you she likes Game of Thrones? Ask her if her name is Winter...

'cause she's going to be coming soon.

[DarcShadow]

Ask a chick if she knows the difference between camping and sodomy. When she says no, ask her if she wants to go camping.

[LonestarCBR]

you know why sweepers are so much fun???


Cause it has sWEEEEEEEEpers in the name!

(I made that up after a cider one night, that's original material right there folks)

Be honest, that was after several HARD ciders.

[fixxervi6]

you know why sweepers are so much fun???


Cause it has sWEEEEEEEEpers in the name!

(I made that up after a cider one night, that's original material right there folks)

Be honest, that was after several HARD ciders.

I'm efficient, it only takes 1

Two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of Rome.

One turns to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones."

LOL

[111]

I'm not so sure this is as much of a joke as it is a truth I've come to realize.

What's the difference between a squid and a douchebag?
.
.
.
You can fix a squid .

[BeautifulDisaster]

It is still LOL worthy

[LonestarCBR]

For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.

[LonestarCBR]

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

[BeautifulDisaster]

LOL both are good!!

[BeautifulDisaster]

A man goes to the doctor, worried about his wife's temper.

The doctor asks: "What's the problem?

The man says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason, and it scares me."

The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until she either leaves the room or goes to bed and falls asleep."

Two weeks later the man comes back to the doctor, looking greatly relieved and happy.

The man says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick...."